Well WHAT THE...buzzard.

Upon finding out that Momma was visiting NYC at the end of June, my Me-Maw reacted in a perfectly southern attempt at hostility.

I told her Momma had planned a trip, and she immediately gasped and started in with "Well WHAT THE...," I was certain she was to finish the sentence in the same slang that the acronym WTF ends, but instead, she paused and simply whispered, "...buzzard."

I laughed so hard I thought I'd never gain control. Her sweet southern fit was over in two seconds with the most harmless word I could've imagined ending that expression with.

It soon became Kern and I's catchphrase throughout the rest of her trip.

All we did the whole time she was here was... whatever we wanted!!! And it. was. glorious.

We had gelato at Lincoln Center.

Went to Barnes & Noble.

This weird plush pig/bunny with a mustache seems to fill a lot of questionable fetishes and doesn't seem suitable for children if you ask me.

Going to B&N in NYC for Kerny is like escaping to a far away island. She finally has time to find her jewelry magazines and skim the books to sharpen her craft in peace. At home, she'd never in a million years have time to stop in a B&N for enjoyment purposes because she fills her days and time with selfless errands that only a mother, daughter, wife, friend, dog-owner, church leader, and teacher's assistant could understand. So B&N and Starbucks, two things that most of us consider part of our (almost) daily routine, are two of her most exciting treats when she comes to the big apple to play.

The little things, I guess.

The next night, we found ourselves right back at the place of gelato from the night before because we got tickets to 'War Horse,' at Lincoln Center.

But first...

in memory of Ali and Crys, we had wasa's and peanut butter over the kitchen sink before our show. Same meal, different apt.

Lincoln Center, round 2.

(Classy Ladie's Lounge shot)

To put it mildly, we were blown away.

The puppetry in this show is absolutely unbelievable and mixed with the lighting/staging, we were in awe. It was truly an art exhibit.

The horse, Joey (and others), is played/controlled from colt to stallion by three puppeteers making all the animal's movements, gestures, and sound effects spot on as a real-life horse would do. You start to forget you're looking at a life size puppet... especially around the time when the actors on stage, jump on the horse and ride him through the scenes. On top of all of that, the actors and musicians were perfection and the story was touching. Take note, this is not a light hearted, fun show. It's very serious, but moving, and beyond entertaining. I came home and was obsessed with finding out how these puppets were created and how the actors wearing them were trained to emulate all the qualities of a real horse. And they're LIFE SIZE!!! Youtube it. It's very interesting.

Also, Lincoln Center has got to be one of the city's most beautiful, but underrated sites.

The next day was Saturday and just like every other Saturday (or Sunday for that matter) I've spent in the city this summer thus far, that means... BEACH DAY!

LIRR to Long Beach we go... With Lu and Sandra

My beach babes...

Everyone wears lipstick to the beach, no?

Sunday consisted of two of our favorites: The flea market and Central Park.

This time we went to the Greene Flea on the west side which Kerny had never been to. It was BLAZING hot... and I do mean BLAZING! This was the only day out of the summer that I can remember sweat actually dripping down my back. That says a lot being as I never sweat. TMI? Well, it's true.

I don't have any pictures of it, but I scored a sterling silver art deco stone and marcasite ring that I love for $20. Kerny scored loads of trinkets I'm sure (at this point I can't remember what all she bought other than some crest charms for $1 a piece) and we saw lots of mirrors.

After leaving the flea market, we were already dripping with sweat so why not make a day out of it and walk home through Central Park? Immediately upon entering, we noticed an Oh-so-ooold man in about three layers of clothes including a wool blazer and pants suit - did I mention it was a billion degrees with 1000% humidity, because it was - trying his darndest to make it up quite possibly the steepest hill I'd ever seen with a cane and a stuffed envelope of what I can only image were the most important of all of his hoarded documents over the years. I said to mom, "Uh-Oh, wait a minute. Let's make sure this guy is alright." We stopped walking and waited to see if this was a situation we should assist in or not. Before we could even decide, miraculously out of the bushes came the cutest father/son duo we'd ever seen. They seemed to be headed home, plastic baseball bat and ball in hand. The instant they exited the woods from whence they came (it just sounds good), the father noticed the old man moving at a glacial pace, in this crazy heat, on a mountain of a road in Central Park, with barely any side walk might I add, and said "Hey Buddy, should we go help this fella?" And little Maneo (Kern and I decided that was his name), rerouted his skipping and said, "Yeah!" Then, Kern's flood gates opened. She insisted upon sitting on the bridge right across from them and watching as the threesome made it only about 20 ft over a 45 minute period. The poor old man kept stopping for a breather and wiping the sweat off his brow with a hanky. The father and son traded on and off who would hold the aforementioned envelope and baseball equipment and sometimes the man offered his arm as a crutch. It was when Dad held the man's hand, that the Kerny litting show really began.

Strangers helping strangers.

Having once complained about my decision to walk through the park (in my defense the temperature was slowly dropping?... or either we were becoming accustomed to the swamp of air we were walking through), Kerny was now "so glad" we did.

Here she is, in all her litting glory, watching from the sidelines.

We decided to walk through parts of the park we had never before seen in an attempt to see the Belvedere Castle.

Success!

(btw, just past Kerny in the distance is the Shakespeare in the Park stage from behind)

And these two girls (below) asked us to take a picture of them in front of the castle and so we did and then as they walked off, I snapped a secret pic of them because they were the cutest two besties I'd ever seen (other than my own girlfriends obviously) and because I love taking pics of strangers. As creepy as that sounds.

I like to make up stories about what kind of people they are, but I swear if I knew them, I'd make them well aware that I snapped this pic and then offer to email it to them because I'm pretty sure they'd want it. I know I would if it were of me and (fill in the blank with any of my gorg girls).

We also stumbled upon these winners on our walk home.

When we walked in my door, I was in such a hurry to shower and get comfy for dinner (we were probably ordering in), that I was half way through my washing when I realized I'd left my sunnies on. Too sweaty to think straight.

I put the blade in shoulder blade.

The party wasn't over just yet... we still had plenty more days for Kern to get sick of me once Monday rolled around because on Tuesday, I'd be flying home with her to Va.

I had worked every weekday (3.5 total, I believe) that she was here, leaving her to wonder the streets of my neighbor hood and the UES of central park (aka 5th Ave) all by herself for those lonely days. She even took her happy little self down to the fashion district to a few of her favorite beads stores all on her own... with the help of her trusty new iPhone and the metro card which she purchased all by herself. Only took her 5 years to figure it out!

Here is some of her roadkill. All soon to be jewelry I was sure.

And I was right.

One man's trash, another man's treasure I guess.

Monday, after work, we headed to Bryant Park to see The Wizard of Oz on the big screen with all the rest of New York City which we assumed would just be a walk-by being as we had not set up camp like the pros do at 4PM (or 5, whatever - as soon as the gates to the park open). We totally TOTALLY lucked out and nabbed two actual seats with the help of Kerny's watchful eyes and my ability to move quickly in a swarm of chair-snatchers from all surrounding areas. The key is to reach into the crowd, land a firm grip, close your eyes, and YANK. Upward over the crowd, not through it. With no regard for anyone else's safety.

I've gotten all too good at this dog-eat-dog world I live in here in NYC.

Needless to say, we were in our own little slice of paradise watching our most favorite movie with other freakshow fans like ourselves.; everyone quoting the lines, singing the songs, and waiting silently, with baited breath, for the most famous lines to be spoken like, "To-To, I don't think we're in Kansas anymore," followed by an immediate uproar of cheers.

The same thing happened after "Somewhere over the rainbow."

Everyone hooped and hollered and whistled as if Judy Garland were performing for us live on stage (I wish)!

It was such a special feeling and next year, I want to do it right! This time with a picnic dinner, blanket claim and all.

Please know, these crappy pictures do it no justice at all. The screen was HUGE, clearly visible, and the sound quality was perfect! There really wasn't a bad seat in the house. Or park rather.

The next morning (Tuesday) Kern and I had an early flight to catch back to Richmond to spend the 4th of July together... and that's where our next post will lead you...

Moral of this post, "This town is an alright town for an uptight town like-a this town," but... "There's no place like home,"... for the fourth.
     -  Franky (Sinatra) and Judy (Garland, who else). A little Frank & Judy never hurt anybody.

Love,
Kare
& To-To too. *